Monday, October 05, 2009

Another Days Journey

The old church use to sing a song that said "this is another days journey and I'm glad about it." As my eyes popped opened my heart began to race, why I'm really not sure. Maybe its the anticipation of what's next..."Waiting on the next shoe to drop" as the old people use to say. My life has never been what you would call normal or calm. As far as I can remember my life has been everything but simple. I can hardly remember a time when I didn't feel the pressure of life. I'm not complain much but I think things are magnified by the passing of my "Daddy" I'm having to deal with.

I'm tired! See I said it. I'm tired of the confusion. I'm tired of hurting, crying and remembering. I'm tried of everything and everybody. I'm tired of having to hold everybody up, hold everybodies hand and the pressure of having to be there. How's there for me? When I hurt? When I'm the one who is crying? When I'm the one who needs answers and directions? When I'm the one who needs a shoulder to cry on and lean on? I'm tired of fight the mounting emotions that seems to just take over like a flood.

Yesterday at 6pm I lost it simple because I knew 60 mins was on. My Dad loved that show and every sunday you could find him sitting down enjoying it. I miss him. Yesterday I stood and attempted to preach and the emotion of him not being there was hard. People have their lives and things have to go on but it still hurts.

I laid here as long as I could waiting on the sun to rise but I guess the season is changing and the sun is a little late. "Its another days journey and I'm..."

PS...Last night Sister Rosie "moma" Jones went home after 91 years. Thank you for so much. Sweetest woman I ever known and one I knew had a genuine relationship with the Lord!

1 comment:

J Rolls said...

I am so proud that you are my Pastor. In fact you are the only Pastor I have truly ever had. No one has had more of an impact on my life than you. I hope one day soon that you and I can sit down and really talk like we use to. I truly miss that! I love you Pastor.