BUT I made it!

A lot has been going on in my life over the last few weeks. As you can see I’m still struggling to get around to blogging on a regular basis. It is not that I’m not writing but the trouble is I’m not finishing anything. Have you ever run into a season of your life where you can’t seem to finish anything? Today I was determined to write a blog and at least post it.

This coming Sunday I will have accomplished 20 years of Pastoral ministry and let me tell you the last 4 and one half years have felt like all 20 years rolled into one, but I survived. That may not sound so convincing “But I made it!” (Hopefully, that sounds much better.)

My struggle in all of this is which direction I’m looking in…James says it like this “a double minded man is unstable in his ways.” Looking back there’s been some sleepless nights, salty tears, frustrating moments, and some agonizing days. I’ve had friends and family who have gone on to be with Jesus and I’m still trying to pick up the pieces of the emotional trauma and shock. I’ve seen sides of people that I hope never to see or experience again.  In the past few years Satan has attacked my ministry with lies, trickery, deceit and disloyalty more than any other time my of 20 year tenure.  I’ve witnessed people walk away from ministry for all the wrong reasons.   The enemy has attacked me both personally and publicly ---but (shout) “I’ve Made It! 

I’m grateful that God has given me another way to look and that’s forward.   For when the look back is too painful I simply look forward. Forward, I see how God has worked what many have intended to harm me, hurt me and hinder me for my good! Forward-- I see God’s incredible love for me that while I’ve done some incredibly stupid things in my nearly 30 years of ministry; God has always been there and has never given up on me. Forward-- He has deepened my preaching, praise, passion and purpose. Forward-- my faith has been fortified, my priorities have been made plain, my calling clearer, and my vision much closer. Forward-- I’ve learned to stop and smell the flowers, appreciate and love deeper, listen more intently and embrace more emotionally. I enjoy the silent moments and I’m “learning” to embrace those loud moments with my grandchildren…lol.  Forward--I’m more thankful for my wife, children, grandchildren, family and friends. I don’t say it enough but I love you guys so much.

There is still that tendency to look back. God is giving me the courage to put on spiritual blinders to and look forward, think forward, act forward, move forward, and speak forward!

Anybody who knows me knows that I’m a recovering impatience person (BIG smile). Have you ever have been on a plane moving from point “A” to point “B?” And the control tower has you in a dreaded holding pattern? You’ve arrived to your destination but for some reason it’s never stated, they just have you circling. What do you do when God has you in a spiritual holding pattern?  Listen, to my friend Isaiah chapter 40 verses 28-31 28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. 29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (NIV)