Transitions Are Tough

It’s Sunday evening, I’m exhausted from a very long week, trying my best to put my brain in neutral. That’s real tough for me because I’m always working, even when I’m not I am. So I thought I would just write down a few things that are spinning out of control in my mind as a way to possible relax.

This was a huge weekend for our church. We gathered over 60 or so leaders in a rented auditorium to unveil and cast the vision for leadership for our church. I was very pleased with the way the lecture went, I have the tendency to preach but this time I didn't. I really just shared what God placed on my heart as His leader. I feel that I established what it is that God is leading us to do, but because it was so radically different from what we’ve done for so long, I’m not really sure whether or not those who have been in leadership the longest received it. I’ve often described myself as the Joshua that has taken over the leadership from Moses. Of course Moses and Joshua had totally difference leadership styles and missions but what do you do when you’re Joshua and you still have some of Moses’ folk. I’m stuck between honoring Moses’ folk and leading the new Joshua generation. I know it is imperative that we move forward into the promise land there is not a doubt in my mind. The vision is clear, the need is apparent and the provision is near. My prayer is that God will open up their hearts in order that they might simply hear His heart and collectively without any casualties that we can cross over together.

Our worship experience was just simply awesome! The children lead out in worship by providing a jubilant and energetic ministry through the choir and the dancers. The fourth Sunday is one of my favorite Sundays mainly because of the children’s ministry. Just watching the young people leading out reminds me of how as a child my childhood pastor Dr. J. A. Reed Jr. gave us an opportunity. Many childhood memories are tied to the children’s and youth ministries at Fairview Baptist Church. Watching our young musicians grow and develop is a beautiful thing to see and today they really looked like they enjoyed singing. I love seeing children worship without any ambitions. As adults we sometime think too much, children just move, clap and dance holding nothing back from God. As adults we sometime think it doesn’t take all of that but we ought to worship God the way He dictates, demands and deserves because we know how good He is.

The sermon was a God-sent. Just seems like this whole year I’ve been being help more through the preparation and the presentation of my own messages than any other time. I’m growing, I know because it painful. I’m sticking with it and I’m not going to give up. We have some wonderful people, caring people and praying people. It seems to me that even their embraces are ministry too me. It is almost as if some of them see through the pastor, teacher, and leader and sees me. There is times when I want them to talk to me not the pastor, not the teacher, not the leader but just me. Sometime I’m the most broken person in the building and nobody knows it. The word today was “There is hope for your hurts” Romans 15: 13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” I pointed out that we each can have hope because 1. His presence is watching over me, 2. His purpose is working in me and 3. His place is waiting for me.

That’s enough for now. I’m going to grab me a bowl of ice cream, watch a movie and relax.

It’s Thursday, March 16, 2006 and it almost seems like the week has been nothing but one big blur, sometime I don’t know if I’m coming or going. I’m catching myself becoming very irritable, just the smallest things will send my blood-pressure up the roof. My schedule seems to grow every hour, appointments, letters, articles, lessons, phone calls, emails and hospitals not to mention the hours and hours of preparation for the weekend sermon. There is not only the pressure to perform but there is the pressure of people, everybody wants time members, politicians, sales people, staff, meetings, appointments, angry people, sad people, confused people and then at the end of the day after being literally drained and exhausted somewhere between the office and home you have to whisper a prayer and catch your second, third or forth wind [depending on what day it is] and be daddy, big papa and husband, handyman, teacher and possibly a million other things as needed. Now don’t misunderstand me I’m not complaining what I’m doing is being honest about my life as pastor-teacher, leader and husband. While my journey has been tough and I’ve discovered that I can’t accomplish all that is placed before me without God’s help. 2 Cor. 12:9 (NIV) says “But he [GOD] said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.” God’s power is made perfect in my weakness. Just the fact that I’m still standing is a testimony of His power resting on me. “Father, I thank you for your strength and power. You are great, awesome and have never broken a promise. When I am weak You, Lord are strong. Thank you for your presence in my life. Amen!”

A lesson from a day with the Grandchildren

I spent the day with my two grandchildren today, Janell and Terry. I took them to see Sesame Street live (Super Grover-Ready for action.) Janell loves Elmo and Terry loved the lights and the sounds. I was sharing my experience with someone and they said “if I knew grandchildren were so much fun, I would have had them first” (I think I heard that before but it was very intriguing this time.) It hit me like a ton of bricks, I wondered why in my case along with many others that grandchildren seem to be more fun. Well, a few things came to mind: number one, I’m older. When we started our family we were 18 and 19, having no idea what to expect. Number two, I’m more settled. Raising a family and trying to find yourself and a career can cause you to miss a lot of things. Number three, They aren’t mine. Some kind of way this must work its way into equation. I love my grandchildren wouldn’t do anything to hurt them but my children accuses me of spoiling them and that might be true. But here’s my defense when they were growing up I was struggling financially and now I’m in a better position to do for the grandchildren things I couldn’t do for them.

So here’s my point to all parents, slow down and enjoy your children because while I love spending time with my grandchildren in my 40’s it come with a sense of missed opportunities of spending time with their parents. If I could turn the clock back I would have changed more diapers, took the responsibility for more feeding and baths, helped with more homework, made more school plays and attended more parent-teacher conferences (maybe even been a “homeroom father - can’t wait for my first grandparents day.) It’s not that I was a bad parent, I just would have done more. In hindsight I missed some opportunities to make some memorable moments with my children.

Nothing is better than spending time with grandchildren but what would make it better is knowing that you spent all the time you could with their parents.

Have a great day and I’ll see you’ll soon!