My First Entry for 2010

All I can say is what a year 2010 has been.

Have you ever gotten tired of the struggle and fight of the race? I mean if it isn’t one thing it’s another. One problem turns into another problem, one situation turns into another, one long night turns into another. How does one survive without becoming bitter and become better?

That was MY dilemma…Yes, even the Pastor, the spiritual leader and the local theologian has the same fights, fears, frustrations, problems, pains and predicaments as those in the pews. For some reason this is the misunderstanding that the pews have about preachers/pastors. I’m sorry to be the one to put to rest that lie. We don’t always have it together. We don’t always have the answers. We don’t always make the right decision. We don’t always know the right spirit, know the right scripture and know the right step. For some who read this blog this is going to cause a mental mystery because we sometime sit in the pew of our local church and think that the personality in the pulpit has life all figured out. NOT TRUE! The particular calling on your life doesn’t exclude you from living in the real world. Family issues, financial issues, frustrating issues and future issues are things that all of God’s children have to face. We’ve all heard that we put our pants on one pants leg at a time or if one is cut regardless of race, religion, or creed we all bleed red. So how does one survive life’s hardest hits without becoming bitter and still hold on to our heavenly Father?

1. Hold on to God’s unchanging hand! Hallelujah! (God is the same today, yesterday and forever more.)
2. Hold on to God’s unchanging scripture! (The grass withers the flowers fade but his WORD will stand forever.)
3. Hold on to God’s unchanging family! (We are a part of God’s holy huddle and should bear one another burdens.)

Happy New Year

Happy New Year to everyone! My prayer is that 2010 will be your year! That you will realize your dreams, recapture what you've lost, revive your life again and regain those things that are important.

FAITH is my word for this year.

One thing that I have found is that the more I think I know about God's Word, the more I find out that I don't know. And, through the years of studying His Word, there are still some things that are hard to believe.

That's where faith comes into play. In spite of human resistance; faith latches hold with Heavenly acceptance, and believes that God said what He meant, meant what He said; and, He offers no disclaimers at the end.

In spite of all that God has revealed in, through, with, and by His Word, there are many Christians who still refuse to live by faith, but choose to live by facts. If I could put it this way, every believer must be a Christian; but, not every Christian is a believer.

Not every Christian takes what God has said in His Word and deposits it into the bank of faith. Someone has wisely said, “All that believes is not faith, and much of what is being called faith today is not faith at all. Any day now someone is going to sue God for breaking a promise.”

Faith doesn't require that we understand it; it only requires that we STAND UPON IT! In verse 6, Faith is DEMANDED. Verse 6 is the crux of the chapter. It is the hinge on which the rest of the door of Hebrews 11 swings. “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” Hebrews 11:6 (NIV)

In other words, if you and I are to have any hopes of living lives that are pleasing to God, then faith is not a luxury, but a necessity. We cannot please God without faith. We cannot know God without faith. We cannot serve God without faith. We cannot approach God without faith.

God has wonderful things in store for you...I can't wait to see it. Be Blessed!!!!

Sap Running

I’ve watched the sunrise many, many days over the past “several” months and for the most part it has been a welcome sight. It would bring great memories of the day before the laughter, smiles, companionships, conversations, and so much more. It would also bring great expectation of what new and wonderful things the day would offer but today as I layed in the dark watching the same window that I’ve watched for “several” months those thoughts alludes me. ALL I could hear was the Elderly African American community saying “the sap is running.” As a kid I would hear those words often during the fall time of the year. One day my Grandmother was talking and she made reference to “the sap must be running,” I ask her the question that that is on the tip of your tongue what does that mean?

I don’t know if I was really ready for the answer but here it is, it was what the older generation would use when people would die during the fall season of the year. (Sap runs during the fall of the year from the maple trees and it’s a mighty slow process as the maple flowing from the maple tree to describe the slow march of the death angle claiming the lives of people.) I must be honest it scared the you-know-what out of me then. Every time the leves would turn color and began to fall I would leave those days afraid of death but the older I got the less those words had any affect on me. Over the last few years I’ve heard those words echoing through the hall of my memories during the fall season. Since September I’ve experience death physically, relationally and emotionally. So I’ve heard myself not saying but feeling it physically, this Saturday will be the fourth funeral service that I’ve officiated this fall not counting the ones I’ve attended. Relationally, I’ve experienced some death with some associates, some so-called-friends and some people who have had significant place in my life. Emotionally, the deaths are tied to the physical and relational deaths but outside of that has been the death of my trust in people.

THE SAP IS RUNNING!!!!

Help Wanted

You ever needed a SAFE haven? You ever longed for a REAL friendship. What about a CARING and COMPASSIANTE confidant, an UNDERSTANDING ear, or a STRONG shoulder. Simple some one to VALIDATE your feeling, LESSEN your load, BEAR you burden, CARRY your cares, and HANDLE your Hardships. Someone who desires to know you. No hidden agenda, motives, or any other sinister self indulging plan or plot, just someone who when they call your name it sounds different. Someone who contributes to your life rather than subtracts. Someone who looks to see the best in you rather than the worst. Someone to hold you, help you and keep hope alive in you. Someone who walks, watches and works with you. Someone who cares about you, is compassionate toward you and will be concerned about you.

I'm slipping deeper and deeper in this THING and there seems to be no one who can see beyond the smile, beyond the output, beyond the walk, beyond the preaching, teaching and praying. I can sense by now that some reading this has leaped on their religious high-horse and by now is wondering why a preacher, pastor and for that matter a child of God could ever feel this fragile, fractured and fickled. When Jesus approached the garden He was accompanied by his disciples and instructed them to watch with Him. He then took THREE and went a little further and then He himself went a little further. There come a time in everyones life when you need some friends to watch and wait with you. When life hits you the hardest and over and over and over again relentless attack one after another like a heavy weight fighter who is "out on his feet." Knock out but still on his feet trying to regain his balance and composer while the other fighter is bearing in for the knock out punch. One punch after another blood flowing and in the crowd some cheering other appalled waiting and praying for either the ref or the corner guy to stop the fight. How much more can he take, eyes swollen, you can't determined where blood is coming from the cut above the eyes or from his mouth from the beating the other fighter is giving him. Somebody stop the fight! Somebody have mercy! Somebody just throw in the towel. Nobody understands how in the world is this fighter continues taking blow after blow, hit after hit. It is no longer entertainment it is a brutal assault it become hard to watch. Where are those who care? Where are those who have ridden on his coat-tail? Where are those who have ate from his table? Where are those who have benefited the most? Where are those love one, family and friends that have been there in good times enjoying the fruits of his labor?

Jesus takes Peter, James and John to watch with Him only to come back to find them sleep. Sleep on the watch. Sleep on the job. When they should have been at their best. When Jesus needed them the most. They were so self absorbed that they missed their chance to minister to the Minister. They have become so accustomed to being on the receiving end that when they had a chance to give they failed.

Defining Moments

There come a time in every relationship when you hit a defining moment. Its that moment when you come to the fork in the road where a decision has to be made and it defines the rest of the relationship. Proceed with caution because sometime one decision can alter the very future of a marriage relationship, family relationship, friendships "THIS" relationship or "THAT" relationship. I've crossed some of those road with individuals in my life and as painful as it has been I believe that God has purposed these experiences. People are in your life for a reason, season or a lifetime. You see, many times our relationships cloud our intelligence. Emotion and feeling sometime eclipse our view of who people really are. We often want to see in people that which is not in them or that which they have the potintial but refuse to accept.

In recent days I've discovered that there have been people that I have trusted to have a place in my life. Whom I thought we had a mutual love and appreciation for each other. I must admit that I'm very guarded in those whom I allow to get close but even with that you really never know a person until your in the fox hole with them, at a place and season where you need them. That's where relationships are defined or destroyed, stranded or strengthen.

Hurt Village

The Blind Side is the remarkable true story of a young man named Michael Oher who becomes an All-American football star. Mother addicted, father found dead, a dozen or more siblings separated, his own mother couldn't remember his last name, virtually homeless, bouncing from couch to couch never having a bed of his own until he is spotted on the street by Leigh Anne Tuohy. What starts out as a gesture of kindness becomes much more as Michael becomes part of the Tuohy family despite the differences in their backgrounds. What blows me away is how the story ends with Leigh Anne and Michael sitting on the curb of the laundry mat that he frequent when there was no couch available, she asked him how he made it out of (catch this "Hurt Village" the name of the area Michael is from). He said my mother taught him to close his eyes when bad things happened. Michael makes it out but his friend David dies as a result of not making it out of hurt village.

As I sit in my second dark mostly empty theater through this movie for the third time trying to shake the emotional strain of today. I've asked myself the question how does one get out of Hurt Village? Each and everyday their are people who successfully maneuver the trail of tears while other are detoured by the devastation of depression.

Why did Michael make it and David did not? Why did David drop out of school and life and die in the village and Michael become a first round draft choice. One word "Community!" The Tuohy family gave Michael the support, strength and spirit to overcome hurt village. Over and over again Michael was drawn back to hurt village again and again and again. Hurt village can be conquered with the help of loving, understanding, compassionate, caring and Christ-like people. A person present hurt doesn't have to define their future given the right support system.

Playing Hurt

The last few days have been like a bad recurring dream. Its been like that movie ground hog day, when the guy keeps having to relive the same day over and over again. Every morning he wakes up and goes through the exactly same thing that he did the day before, eats same food, goes same places and meets the same people. Strange how one event can turn your world upside down.

Funny (NOT in a ha, ha, way but in a strange way) how people never look behind the smile. I shared this past Sunday on my weekly radio segment Words To Live By that every athlete learned early on to "play hurt" (definition: A injured player plays through his injury). Playing hurt separated good athletes from great athletes. Many time in ministry the pastor must "play hurt!" He does have the liberty to take time to heal, much like the franchise play on a professional team. The only difference is that the organization and ownership understands how valuable the franchise player is and wouldn't risk him being injured, hurt or possible falling to a career ending collision. One would think that the church, his family, friends and love ones would take a page out of the NBA or NFL owner's manual and protect the franchise player. I know that the church is bigger than one man but I also realize that in many churches people attend week in and week out because of the personality in the pulpit. The families of these men and women are supported well by his/her ability to do what they do. The members of these churches are strengthen fed and encouraged by the words that fall from his/her lips.

Sunday after Sunday I have stood broken, burden and battered. Preaching through heartache, hardship and heart break. Leading worship wounded, worn, weary and weeping. Ministering while morning and missing my Daddy. Nobody knowe! Nobody cares! Nobody concern! Just keep giving what we want.

Still Standing Strong

As I come to the end of a long day I want to remind each of us to be thankful for the church. Today I was bless with the opportunity to share God's Word with two congregations in their Homecoming celebrations: my home church the Fairview Baptist Church (Dr. J A Reed) 100th year celebration and the New Hope Baptist Church (Pastor E J Tyson) 80th celebration the church that birth the church I sever. And I am proud to say that the church is still standing strong. Two churches that have rich histories. In the black experience the church has always been that voice that has given leadership to our communities across this country. I'm honored to be apart of the wonderful legacy of leaders that continue to lift the faith of people and give hope and help to the lives of families. What awesome responsibility. Knowing that God has chosen sinful men and women to empower and change live. Father, thank you for using me and allowing me to do your work. I know there are those who are much more equip and worthy. I sit in amazement as your Holy Spirit flow through me giving me the word to say making clear your love and grace. I surrender my life to your service. While I suffer and struggle through my own experience I have found peace today by simply letting you do what you wish.

Finish Strong

"Finish Strong" is a phrase I picked up in high school sports some 30 some years ago. Being an athlete it was called upon when the game had come to the 4th quarter and victory was in sight. The coach would call a time out gather his player around him and like. General commanding his troops to go into battle the coach would call us to dig down deep and finish strong. Where are you digging? Glad you asked! It was those long evening of practice, coaching sessions, those extra sprints and drills. That at the time you didn't understand but the coach had the experience to know that during a long season his team will have to have some that the opponent did have and that is a pool of strength that the other team didn't not possess.

When days seem duary, nights seem long, valleys seem deep and mountains high...remember to "Finish Strong!" Our God has put in us enough to win. I'm praying that you finish this year out strong and ask that you will do the same for me.

World Aids Day

December is such a special month! Not just because it is the time of year in which we celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ, but also because December 1 is World AIDS Day. HIV/AIDS is still the greatest crisis of all time, killing millions every year, and leaving millions of orphaned and vulnerable children behind. In the middle of this tragedy, Christians have the opportunity to make the love of our Savior real to anyone infected or affected by HIV and AIDS. One of the ways you can show that you care is by remembering those who have died, pray for those who are currently living with HIV and AIDS, pray for breakthroughs in a possible vaccine for HIV. The simplest way you can help fight the HIV/AIDS pandemic is to know your own HIV status. Most people with HIV have been living with the virus for up to nine years before they know their status. Get informed and stop the HIV/AIDS pandemic.

Seem Kinda Odd

Ice Cube the hip-hop mega star made famous these lines "Just waking up in the morning gotta thank God I don't know but today seems kinda odd..." That's my sentiments exactly today. I'm just tired, frustrated, pissed-off, mad, disappointed, hurt, angry, depressed, and a whole lot of other things.

I think everybody has a breaking point. When you've reached your limit. When you've about to reach your breaking point. When it seem like your best just isn't good enough. When you've about to go postal. When your about to throw in the towel. When you've reach your the max of your understanding of people foolishness. When you can't handle another lie, rumor, phony friend who smile in your face while stabling you in your back. Well, I'm there!

I'm up going through the motion trying to keep my mind and my spirit in tacked. I'm in this dark place and I'm not sure how too get out and I'm afraid that I'm going to get stuck.

I miss those days where I couldn't wait for the sun to get up. I missed the days when it was about Kingdom work. When it was simply about the next sermon series, next event, next meeting and next fellowship. I miss the excitement about what God was doing in, through and for us.

I'm figuring out that this is much bigger than anticipated and it want to engulf me. I'm afraid if it does it will change me forever. Something needs to be done but my compass is so jacked-up that I can't focus and find the direction I need. I struggle praying cause I'm so angry, hurt and disappointed.

I don't want to do this any more...Peace

Missing My Daddy

Wow! My heart is heavy. Its been pretty tough emotionally during Thanksgiving without him. I really miss him today!!!

THE BIG GIVER

I have just became one of Shaquille Rashaun O'Neal today. I AM A FAN of Superman, Shaq Diesel, The Big Aristotle and Shaq-Fu.

At 7' 1" Shaq Daddy is regarded as one of the most dominant athletes and arguably the most outspoken personalities. He's a writer, actor, graduate LSU (Louisiana State University) and is the only current NBA player with an Master of Business Administration, as well as playing for 5 NBA teams: the Orlando Magic, the Los Angeles Lakers, the Miami Heat, the Phoenix Suns and currently Cleveland Cavs. O'Neal ). Shaq is also one of the few NBA players in history to reach the NBA Finals with three different teams. His charisma on and off the court helped create a worldwide reputation as "Godfather of the NBA.

With all that said what moved me greatly and made me one of his BIGGEST FANS was the fact that he paid for the funeral of 5-year-old Shaniya Davis, allegedly killed by a man who paid for her sexual services. Shaq Daddy said "I was sitting at home watching it on the news and the story brought a tear to my eye..."

WOW, on the heels of Thanksgiving we should all take a page out of the Shaquille Rashaun O'Neal life book and GIVE to those around us. Giving is not base on how big the gift in the HAND but how big the HEART behind the hand.

This has challenged me to look for ways to give to those who God will cross my path this holiday season.

The Green Mile

One of the most moving movies I've ever watched was the "Green Mile," staring Tom Hanks (as Paul Edgecomb) and Michael Clarke Duncan (as John Coffey Like the drink just not spelled the same"). Paul Edgecomb is a slightly cynical veteran prison guard on Death row (called the green mile because the floor is green) in the 1930's. His faith, and sanity, deteriorated by watching men live and die, Edgecomb is about to have a complete turn around in attitude. Enters John Coffey, He's eight feet tall. He has hands the size of shovels. He's been accused of the murder and rap of two little white girls... and he's afraid to sleep in a cell without a night-light. And Edgecomb, as well as the other prison guards - Brutus, a sympathetic guard, and Percy, a stuck up, perverse, and violent person, are in for a strange experience that involves intelligent mice, brutal executions, and the revelation about Coffey's innocence and the true God-give gift he is.

Well today is thanksgiving day and the last few weeks I've felt a little like Mr. John Coffey. Having this special gift that God has given to "take back" others pain but struggle greatly with my own. Able to be compassionate and sympathy with others but not know how to manage my own. While being on my own "Green Mile," you see no matter the awesome gift John possessed it had become an burden "taken back" others pain but having no one to "take back" his. Being a pastor one of your responsibilities is to be there for the members of your flock as the under shepherd and help carry their burdens but what has always been a joy has become an overwhelming burden because of my own stuff.

The battle with grief is real but it grows during the holidays. Grief become magnified. My "Green Mile" has been my incarceration has been one of emotional and psychological struggles. In my 45years of life today will be the the first Thanksgiving my daddy won't be cooking and serving dinner. Will be the first in recent years that we won't attend the city-wide thanksgiving service together. The first time that his house won't be full of laughter and stories of the "good old days." The smell food and we won't taste his rice dressing.

But today I will say I am and will always be thankful for the memories.

The Green Mile

One of the most moving movies I've ever watched was the "Green Mile," staring Tom Hanks and Michael Clarke Duncan.

Missing in Action

Sundays have become increasingly more difficult for me. What many church attendees are unaware of is the spiritual battle that men and women of God have to endure to deliver life change messages. I've learned over my nearly two decades of pastorring that some of the greatest messages that God has chosen to speak through me have come at a great cost to me personally. Most envy the life of the pastor because they see the "things" but if you could see the scares and open wounds and rotten flesh that out weights any of the trinkets. What has cost the MOST is the genuine desire to see people come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ and to discover their God-given purpose that will unleash kingdom power. The enemy hates, hinders and hold the church hostage because he knows how powerful the church would be that securely seeks first the kingdom of God. It is my prayer that I will see the fullness of God's vision come to be. There are hundreds and even thousands of people who are looking for God's church. A place to worship, belong, study, serve and share. My struggle is with what God has shared and birth in my spirit and the overwhelming conflict and lack of cooperation from those who are in leadership. One would think that it would be the pleasure, privilege and purpose of people who have been in church, studied and taught His Word to carry out His Will. But sadly and shamefully those who should be there aren't. Paul writes with his heart broken and said by now I thought you would be teacher but I have to take you back to the elementary teaching. Likewise later he again said it is my desire is to feed you meat but you are still on milk. Are we to spend our time fighting or should we simply shake the dust off? Week in and week out there are those who are broken, beaten and battered by life seeking God for answers and the church is engaged in self destructive behavior. Tearing one another down with gossip and critical word. Fighting God's program, mission and vision. Focusing on self gratification, all about me, myself and I. Seeking to fulfill selfish and personal agenda. Holding fast to tradition and an old-time religion that has failed to take in consideration what it is that God wants. Has anybody ASKED God what He desired for His people to be engaged in? Has anybody ASKED God what He want His people to be doing? Is God please with our worship? What does God want the program of the church to look like, what does He want the order of business too be? Is He concerned about the widows and orphans? What about the single mother who's at her wits end? What about that teenager who fights thought of suicide? What about that wife who is being abused daily? What about that grandmother who has taken in her daughter's children and has no idea on raising this generation? What about that young brotha who dropped out of school and can't read and can hardly write? What about that little girl or boy who has to sit and watch momma smoke crack and do favors? What about that student who goes to school and is made fun of because he/she clothe smell because they have no way of washing them and have no school supplies in order to even attempt to stay up with the rest of the class? What about that gifted young person who has no one push and encourage higher education? What about those seniors who have to make the choice to eat, pay bill or buy medication? While we go to our Sunday school classes and small group session and talk about scriptures and never live them out. Then move to our dry singing, dull praying, deceitful giving, dreadful sermons and then to dinner. Oh, less I forget the great trade, where one church drags their members to one church this month and next month they drag their to the other. Then there is the weak Wednesday workout, where we go through the motion for and hour or so with very little if any praying and seeking God. Does God even attend Wednesdays?

What are we too do?

God won't put more on you than you can bear?

I’ve simply been avoiding not neglecting this blog. Why, you ask? It was my frail, futile and foolish attempt to side step the emotional turmoil I’m experiencing. For several reason…[1] I’ve never been here before, [2] It is incredibly painful, [3] I’m a man, [4] I’m a pastor, [5] I’m the local theologian in my church, [6] My siblings are counting on me, [7] The people closest to me have no idea what to do, [8] People I thought I could count on have been absent, [9] Life pauses for no man and I will restrain myself from doing the predictable thing a preacher and skip number 10.

Like many people, I’m in the darkness moments and seasons in my life. A season that I would have loved to skip, there have been times when I’m had to face some lonesome day and the dark nights and prayed for my own time machine so I can either go back where I was happy, or fast forward anywhere in the future where I can find myself again. Funny huh? There is no such machine invented and the only way to move from the terrible, horrible place where I stand is to go through the dare tunnel ahead.

I’m sure you’ve heard people say, “God won’t put more on you than you can bear!” Is that really comforting? Should that bring absolute joy? I know that sound cynical but let’s step back for a moment and think. Where is the hope in that, when my heart is broken, crushed, bruised, and abused? Do I really want to engage God at that level? What in the hell does that mean? Is there anybody in this universe that’s looking forward to God maxing you out? Let me walk you through that…the lovely statement that “Christians and Non-Christians” make as they attempt to give you this cute little box that is wrapped so beautiful with a bow and everything to help minister and soothe and comfort you in your darkest hour, here it goes, “God won’t put more on you than you can bear!” I’ve worked out many, many years and at times hired a weight and cardio trainer to kick start after a plateau. The trainer’s job was to push my body to levels it has never gone before. After a long week of training on the last day of the week would be max day…the testing day of my limits, stamina and endurance. Every muscle, tissue, cell and fiber of your body is tested, pushed until I reached failure. You see when the trainer sees that I had reached my max he would always call for more. The trainer would see more in me than I was able under extreme pressure in myself and would often times put a hand on the bar to assist me. I would be so glad to drop that weight or prop that bar up but in the heat of the battle, in the pain of the push and the strain in the struggle it was the most gut wrenching experience.

Truth be told that where the rubber meets the road and all the cute quote that people around you throw at you won’t help heal the heartache, heartbreak and hardship. Many times we do more harm than good. How? Glad you asked…

Do not constantly ask “How are you doing?” If that particular moment you’re having the best moment you’ve had in a while, guess what…you’re remind of your pain. Let people express their feel to you and you just be willing to listen. [Don’t ruin a good moment they are far and in between.

Learn and anticipate what they need. Sometime they will need you close and other time far, far away [don’t take it personal]. If you care and love this person you have to become selfless to really help.

Be there! Be there! Be there! I can say that enough. One of the first things a person who has experienced an emotional blow needs is fake and phony friends. We all have them people who you’ve stood with, share with and supped with in there seasons of sorrow and when the tables are turned they’re not there. What a blow!

Be understanding and compassionate. Similar experiences are just that SIMILAR experiences. We all have parents but we have difference and unique relationships with them. Yours is not like mine and mine is not like yours, while we both have parents. It is not comforting to hear in the early stages of grief and bereavement that you understand because you had a love one pass on before.

Know that grief is a process. As I said earlier “Life pauses for no man,” and while you’re going to work, moving and shaking. Your love one could be caught in a dungeon of despair, a web of worry, a pit of pressure, fortress of frustration and a guillotine of guilt, gloom and grief. Don’t be guilty of becoming their psychologist, just fill your role in their life.

Most importantly remember that brokenness, grief, suffering, pain, darkness, guilt and many of the other emotional issues we face in life can’t always be seen by the naked eye. We sometime are guilty of wanting to see them better before their really better. We want to see them happy before they are really happy. To the point of telling people when their situation comes up in conversation, “Naw, they’re alright!” Don’t allow you judgment base upon the fact that they laughed because sometime they have to laugh to keep from crying. Don’t base it on the fact that they go back to their routine because that’s what’s expected. I’ll tell you more about this but I was at a conference and the subject of children coping with crisis came up and the statement was made that most people think children bounce back from crises fairly easy. If they return back to playing, laughing, interacting…you know base to their “old selves” then we assume they’re okay. But not true many simply disguise, camouflage, hid and mask their emotional struggle by acting like those who are around them expect them too. Just because the scares are not visible to the naked eyes doesn’t make them any less real or even worst painful.

Let me close by saying I trust that God knows just how much I can bear…but I wonder everyday how will I deal with this awful feeling of brokenness? How will I ever move on? How on earth will I ever smile again? I wish I could give credit to the writer of this but it alludes me at this moment but this has comforted me at this moment: “Yes, I understand why things had to happen this way. I understand his reason for causing me pain. But mere understanding does not chase away the hurt. It does not call upon the sun when dark clouds have loomed over me. Let the rain come then if it must come! And let it wash away the dust that hurt my eyes!” Bye

November Adoption Awareness Month

I attended last month the National One Church Meeting in Baltimore. One church One child is a national organization that seeks to connect families and children in and through the African American community.

Historically approximately 500,000 children in the US foster care system.

Approximately 229,000 of these children are waiting for a permanent home.

At any given time over 1/2 of these children are Africa American.

Over 20,000 age out of the system at 18 years of age without ever having a family of their own.

November is Adoption and foster care month pass it on. My personal interest is that of an adoptive parent. God has bless my family through adoption in two ways. 1. He's given me two awesome children. 2. Spiritually it helped me understand how WE as believer are adopted as sons and daughter by our heavenly Father.

Do you have room in your life to make a difference in a child's life?

This is Rev. Jamal Bryant and me at that meeting.

The Journey

Its nearly four in the morning and I'm wide awake...WHY you asked all I can come up with is that the journey is getting too me.

There are days when the journey is tough, rough and well better just leave it there.

There are days when the journey is unreasonable and unmerciful.

There are too many days when the journey is selfish and uncooperating.

There are days when the journey doesn't understand the days struggles.

There are too many days when the journey is up and down and up and down.

Will the journey get better???

Will the journey ever get easier???

Will the journey ever cooperate???

Will there ever be a day when the journey and I will end the struggle???

Everybody has a journey they have to face each and everyday. Some enjoy the journey. Others struggle with the journey. Others have given up on the journey. Others have had to become medicaded for the journey. Others are glad for the journey.

All I can say is stay tune and watch the journey continue to unfold.

Good Morning

I'm Soooooooooooooooo Tired!!!

Today, I'm simply overwhelmed. Life has become unmanageable. I'm trying my best to get my life back on track but it seems like the more I attempt to do so the more resistance I encounter. I'm look for a way out!

Lord, please give me the strenght to hold on!